Confessions of a creative mind….

On writing, reading and pretty much anything else

Archive for the tag “parents”

Father’s Day, and Forgiveness

Yesterday was Father’s Day. I didn’t call my dad. I thought about him a lot, though, and it was bittersweet, as most holidays are these days. Last month ticked off an entire year I haven’t spoken to either parent.
We’ve had periods of estrangement before, but this one has been the longest. There are a lot of reasons for it, some of which matter, some of which probably don’t anymore. But as I struggle with the guilt that comes with the recovering Catholic territory, I have found I’m learning valuable lessons on forgiveness.
I used to think forgiveness meant I had to suck it up, take whatever anyone felt like dishing out without question, and go back for more. I could never quite comprehend the idea of forgiving someone without actually being in their presence again, or telling them I’d forgiven them. And when I repeatedly completed this cycle, I never quite found the peace or happiness I’d been expecting–and most times, I’d be just as frustrated again soon after, when the subject of my generous forgiveness did something suspiciously similar to what I’d just “forgiven” them for.
Now I realize the concept is much different. I haven’t by any means mastered it yet, but I’m getting better at reconciling it. Forgiveness is for me, not them. It’s there to give me freedom, not give them absolution. If I forgive someone, they don’t even have to know about it. That’s a pretty big breakthrough. Now if I could just figure out how to do the actual forgiving part, I think I’ll be well on my way to healing.
I do hope my dad had a happy day yesterday. I’d like to think something was missing on his end, as it was on mine, but that’s something he needs to figure out. And maybe he has some forgiving to do as well.

Rapture? Not today, folks.

Well, it’s taken me long enough to get this blog up and running, so what better night to officially launch than post-non-existent Rapture? It’s got to be fate. Or something. But it’s actually really fitting, because when I finally got up to speed on this whole Rapture thing (hey, I had a busy week, what can I say?), I couldn’t help but wonder what my parents were doing about it. I mean, I know the believers are part of the special Camping religion, whatever it’s called, and my parents are staunch Catholics, but still. They spent enough time telling me I was going to hell as a kid, so this would be right up their alley. And my mother is a firm believer that all natural disasters happen because God wants to punish the sinners who are ruining the world. (Yes, I had a fun childhood.)

But really, Rapture talk, in my humble opinion, was simply another way for these fanatics to have a platform, to take gullible, insecure people’s money, and ultimately, to instill fear. I mean, really, people – 6 p.m. eastern time? You think the Bible gets that specific?

Whether you’re a Camping follower or a fanatic subscribing to another religion, understand this: Your fellow humans who are inherently good people doing mostly the right thing every day don’t want to hear your preaching, your doomsday  prophecies, or your judgments. We’re okay. We’re still here. And I, for one, would rather put my energy into doing something worthwhile for a person or an animal – not predicting their fiery destruction. I’m not an expert, but I suspect that might be a better way to get into heaven.

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